July 3^rd, 2026

Holding Your Pain

One of the most radical and transformative practices in Buddhist psychology is the practice of holding our pain with loving awareness. Instead of running away from suffering or trying to silence it, we invite it into our awareness with care and compassion. This is not a passive acceptance of suffering but an active process of embracing it, the way a loving parent holds a crying baby. When we bring our suffering into the presence of our mindfulness, something powerful happens: It begins to change.

Welcoming the Seed of Suffering

Our emotions exist as seeds in the garden of our minds. Some seeds, like joy and gratitude, are easy to appreciate. Others, like fear, anger, or grief, are much harder. However, every human life contains both kinds of emotions. Unpleasant mental states will always arise, no matter how skillfully you might be living. If we don’t know how to relate to them, we can create a lot of unnecessary suffering. When we get angry at our anger, or when we’re afraid of our fear, those emotions just spiral. We need another way.

Holding your pain begins with an invitation. Instead of running from suffering, we allow it to arise. But we do not invite it alone—we also bring forth the seed of loving awareness. This is the key. When suffering arises in isolation, it can be overwhelming. But when we bring mindfulness, gentleness, and curiosity to our suffering, it transforms.

Tim Desmond, Tricycle Magazine, Jun 16, 2026