March 13^th, 2026

The Green-Eyed Monster

Jealousy has a terrible reputation in dharma circles. Unlike anger, which is understood to be destructive but can also be skillfully harnessed to set boundaries, recognize injustice, and protect ourselves and others, jealousy seems to be viewed as unequivocally toxic - so why would anyone want to admit to struggling with it?

Spiritual bypassing is a defense mechanism where people avoid negative feelings by hiding behind spiritual concepts. Rather than admit we are angry, jealous, fearful, or greedy, we pretend it is not happening, or try to compensate with thoughts and actions that are considered spiritually "good." You may compensate by praising the other person, then wind up feeling inauthentic and fake.

When disturbing emotions are ignored or suppressed in this way, they still arise in the mind but go unrecognized - and the risk of unconscious acting out is greater. If you don't acknowledge that you are you are jealous or envious of someone, it's easy to convince yourself that the other person is the problem.

If we notice jealousy arising, it means that we need more of its antidote - rejoicing. We can cultivate joy by contemplating the good qualities of ourselves and others, and the positive results that arise from this. It's not enough to just think positive thoughts in a detached or logical way. Here's what to do when you notice jealousy arising:

Facing our jealousy is an act of courage and authenticity. We can be sincere in the knowledge that by facing our jealousy, we are helping others. In this way, we can transform the poison of Jealousy into the medicine of joy.

Mindy Newman, Tricycle Magazine, Fall 2024
Edited, expanded and condensed by Eve Kodiak